Church Commitment Issues

I've moved 23 times (21 in LA county), left all but two jobs in under 9 months, and have known only two people outside my family over 7 years.  Apparently I have commitment issues.  I've been in my current home for 6 months and I'm getting antsy, ready to have a new surrounding.  I don't think these issues really pose a problem for me in most aspects of my life.  But I'm beginning to realize that this issue overflowed into my church commitment.  This is a problem and I know I'm not the only one who struggles with it.

Most churches have a membership class available to new attendees every month or so.  In the class a member of the church staff tells the attendees about the church--the beliefs, statement of faith, etc--and answers any questions the attendees may have.  This is usually followed with the attendees signing a form stating they will now align themselves with the church's statement of faith.

Disclaimer: 1) I am not saying church membership is wrong.  I actually believe it is sadly necessary. 2) Although I argue against leaving a church, I do believe there are times when leaving a church is good for both the Christian and the church.  But more often than not, people do not have these good reasons to leave.

But I don't see this in the Bible, so why does the Church of today need to adopt this practice?

There are many excuses, but the main reason is this: people are afraid to commit.  If people feel like they are part of the team and have a say in what happens then they will get more involved and not run away at the first sign of discomfort.  So churches have adopted the tradition of membership.  In general, we HATE confrontation more than anything else and discomfort is generally the first sign that confrontation is in the future.  In fact, we hate confrontation more than we love community.  This is a tragedy in the deepest sense.

So far as I know, never does God instruct us to avoid--much less run away from--confrontation.  Instead, we are given instruction to pursue peace and love for one another.  In Romans, while describing the marks of a Christian, Paul tells the church "If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." (Rom. 12:18)  We are to act as one body (1 Cor. 12:12-31) with one goal, "empowered by one and the same Spirit" (1 Cor. 12:11).  After all, Paul says, "God has so composed the body...that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another." (1 Cor. 12:24-25)  A good section in the first letter to the Corinthians is written about love, painting a picture of humility and patience.  He ends this description with this: "So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.  Pursue love..." (1 Cor. 13:13-14:1)

This in no way means that we are to run the second an uncomfortable situation rears its ugly little head.  Matthew recounts Jesus' instructions to the disciples on confrontation in Matthew 18.  After once again showing His disciples His heart towards sin and the lost, Jesus tells the disciples to first confront the person who has sinned against them alone.  Then, if they do not listen, bring in a third party "that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses." (Matt. 18:16)  If the person still refuses to listen, tell the church.  Then if yet again they refuse to listen--then and only then--are you to lay the issue to rest and "let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector." (Matt. 18:17)

But--and this is truly a HUGE but--Jesus does not in any way, shape, or form instruct His disciples to separate themselves from that community.  In fact, if we look at past interactions Jesus had with Gentiles and tax collectors, we see that we are supposed to treat them with love and respect (see John 4:1-45, Luke 19:1-10; Matt. 8:5-13).  We have used this reference in Matthew 18 to give us an excuse to run away when things get tough in relationships.  Yet when things got tough for Jesus in His closest relationships (think of the disciples falling asleep during His final hours and Judas' betrayal) He dug His heels in.

We see this exemplified by Paul in his letter to the Galatians as well as the author of the letter to the Hebrews.  At the beginning of the letter, Paul expresses his surprise with the Galatians, saying, "I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting Him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel--not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ." (Gal. 1:6-7)  Later his frustrations becomes apparent when he exclaims, "O foolish Galatians!" (Gal. 3:1)  The author of Hebrews has a similar frustration with the Hebrews refusing to grow, choosing laziness in their faith. (Heb. 5:11-12)

Neither of these spiritual leaders ran away or ignored the problem--they attacked it head on and didn't let go.  This should be our response.  We need to desire community and work for that community no matter the cost.

After God created Adam He decided that it was "not good that the man should be alone", so God created woman.  When Jesus first sent out the disciples, He sent them out in teams of two (Luke 10:1).  And according to Jesus, the greatest two commandments in the Bible are to love God and love others (Matt. 22:37-40).  How can we possibly love others if we are not in a community with them?  According to John, one of Jesus' disciples, we love God by keeping His commandments (1 John 5:3).  Therefore, in order to fulfill both commandments Jesus describes, we must love others.  Jesus makes these two commandments so intrinsically linked that we cannot possibly choose one and not do the other.

But, you may say, I can love my neighbor and everyone around me without having to commit to a church.  I don't believe this is completely possible.  Yes, there is a general love that we can have and show to those around us that we do not know.  But how is this anything like the love of Jesus?  When Jesus was on earth He ministered to everyone around Him, but He also had His close friends like Lazarus (John 11:5) as well as the twelve disciples, specifically Peter, John, and James.  He invested most of His time with them despite their immaturity (for example, Luke 9:46).

Let's face it, though.  Usually the reason we want to run from a church has a weak foundation at best.  I know that as soon as I start to feel like a church is becoming "home", I look for anything that could possibly be wrong and then latch on to that and run.  Some of these things could even have been a mistake on the part of the speaker, but I don't wait for explanations.  I just run.  And I know I'm not the only one who does this.  I've heard many reasons people have left the church, and a lot of times it's downright petty.  These range from the pastor dresses wrong to not singing enough hymns to the church accepting unrepentant people to the service times being inconvenient to the wrong stance on alcohol.  It's absolutely ridiculous.  Seriously?

Are we really that afraid of commitment?  What on earth will happen if we stay with a church for more than a year or so?  And I mean that literally--what on earth?  Because, if we really have faith in Jesus, we will know that nothing on earth--nothing--can "separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom. 8:35-39).

So why are we so afraid of commitment?  Are we afraid to be known by a fellow believer?  Do we think once our fellow believers see us for who we really are, a sinner, the rest of the church will reject us?  Is our consideration of the church so low that we don't trust the family that God has given us?  Do we really have so little faith in the God of the universe, the One who saved us, that we can't commit to His people?