Choosing Confidence in Hard Times

A couple weeks ago, before the coronavirus scare immobilized everyone, I was able to hang out with my brother and his three kids. When the kids started getting a little crazy, we encouraged them to go outside to play with our 5-month-old German Shepherd puppies. These two boys are all love and joy and no restraint, as all puppies are. The 4-year-old niece ran outside so fast that I couldn’t even get my slip-on shoes on first. While outside without an adult, one of the puppies jumped to kiss her face and knocked her over. I saw the aftermath: she was laying the grass crying. What she didn’t know I saw was that she didn’t start crying until she saw me at the door. It was only about 2 seconds, but I know she had no intention to cry until she could get attention, something that is very common with children.

I went outside, picked her up, and asked her why she was crying. Through sobs, she said, “I was scared!” 

“Of what?” I asked, knowing full well there was nothing to be scared of.

“The puppies scared me!”

Over the next minute or so I talked her through choosing to not be scared of the puppies. After all, we know they aren’t trying to hurt anyone and that they just got super excited to give her kisses and to play with her. She giggled a little at that and then suddenly the tears stopped. This little girl just chose confidence over fear.

And we should all do the same thing right now.

Whether we have to live with social distancing for another week or the rest of the year (God help us all if this is the case!) if, we don’t have to live in fear. Fear is really easy, but we can choose confidence.

You might be saying: It’s not that easy! Everything is scary out there and the reports just seem to be getting worse.

You know what? Some reports are getting worse, but others aren’t, so where are you looking? I can take precautions, be careful, watch the news, and yet not be afraid. Because my confidence doesn’t come from the CDC or the World Health Organization or the government. My confidence comes from the One who created everything, including the people in those organizations. My confidence is not built on a human being’s understanding of the situation, but the faithfulness of the One who knew this was coming before the world existed. My confidence is so much bigger than this world-spread virus.

We all have a choice: put our trust in people (even highly educated people) and live in fear or choose confidence based on the faithfulness of the God of the universe who knows the number of hairs on our head! Plus, I know from experience that God is faithful to His people, even when we are not faithful to Him, so God’s got this!

Moreover, and it may sound small, but I would rather not live in fear. Fear is draining. Fear is overwhelming. Fear robs me of my life. Confidence takes effort, sure, but it actually returns that effort with more strength. Confidence may be a really hard decision and seem overwhelming, but your heart will be comforted. And, without a doubt, confidence in God gives me life. Always and forever.

So choose confidence. You might have to make that choice every minute today and then start again tomorrow. But as you keep choosing confidence, it will become easier because you will become stronger. Go for it! Just try it for the next minute! You’ve got this because God’s got you! 

Survival: A Humbling Experience

It is humbling to admit weakness. This stupid cold has forced me to set limitations I normally scoff. Today the students went on Survival. Basically this is an intense, very long hike around the area without any cell phones. Just the supplies on their backs. And my favorite part of camp. 

This activity gives us time to get to know students without any distractions and with a common goal: get back to camp. Last time I was able to have long talks with students and leaders about scripture and what it means to accept yourself for who you are while still pursuing something better. I just assumed this year I would spend the time mostly alone, reading and sleeping. Stupid cold. (<--That was literally my thought as the teams left...)

However, God had better plans. He blessed me with the opportunity to talk with some believers here: one student, one intern from Slovakia, one missionary, and one pastor's wife. We were able to enjoy each other's company and talk about the needs of Czech Republic and Fusion. Essentially they need interns to come and help build up the church. The church here is doing well but are so small that only a few people are available to do all the work. This is leading some leaders toward burnout. 

Additionally, after what happened to missionary visas in Great Britain, we know that missionaries may suddenly be sent out of the country with very little warning. Thus, we must support the church while we can so that if/when that happens they will be strong enough to survive. I know God is always faithful to His people, but I believe it is our duty to strengthen the church in person when at all possible. I don't know how this will look or if I will help, I just know that the need is there. Will you please pray for the church here as they figure out how to create situations for interns and missionaries?

I also ask that you pray for the relationships that are being built on Survival. So many good conversations are happening as I type and we want those conversations to continue. It is amazing what happens when people only have each other to survive! 

Thank you for your prayers! I pray that you are blessed as you partner with me and my team. 

Here area couple pics from today. Our second choir rehearsal and a game of four square with some students.

It has Begun...

“For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ. Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭2:5-7‬

“He disarmed the rulers and authorities and put them to open shame, by triumphing over them in him.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭2:15‬

Yesterday held the arrival of our students. It was so much fun seeing students I knew from my last time here; it was encouraging that they remembered me. It's been two years and yet the impact I had was positive. I praise God for that! I know this impression is because of how Christ shines through me and not my own strength or ability.

The first evening meeting was filled with exciting songs, teaching the first part of the camp dance, games, and a short message. About 30-40 of the 50 kids are not believers. 

While we deeply desire every person to know Christ, it is important that we do not expect them to be ready to accept Him as their Savior this moment. The short message was delivered by Zuska, one of the camp directors. She asked the question, "What do you think God is trying to tell you?" From all the reports I heard, the discussion groups after went well and the kids began opening up–a very unusual occurrence for Czechs! This is a great start to the week!

The rest of the camp programs start today. First an opening session during which I was interviewed. I was honored to share my story about friendship and how God has taught me that it is His job to guard my heart, not mine. In fact, He is still teaching me this. The students seemed to listen and I pray that this interview will open up opportunities to share more about the love of God with the students.

 (Selfie from right before my interview) 

Right now I lay on my bed in a cabin. It is perfect outside. The rain has stopped for now, but I hope for more later. All the green is vibrant from the cleansing rain and the brown of the tree trunks and dirt is bright. It is a beautiful scene.

In the distance I hear the sounds of the first choir rehearsal. Each section is singing out and creating a pleasing cacophony. Normally I would be there singing out with all the sopranos. However, today took an unexpected turn. I woke up (quite early) feeling sick. It is merely a cold, but it has me laying down and resting. I don't have the energy for anything. I hate missing time with my students but at the same time I know I need to heal. Resting is the only way for that.

Providentially, God used a missionary here named Amy to share words of encouragement in the leader's devotion this morning. She reminded me that serving God is not always fun; sometimes it is excruciating and it frequently takes unexpected twists and turns. While I would not call today excruciating, it is in no way how I envisioned any of my time at camp. However, I know that God knew this would happen and has prepared me to glorify His name in this moment. 

In fact, I was able to talk with my dear Hanka about how God is my strength in the good and bad. We talked about our mutual love of God and how He is always faithful to get us through the bad times even though He doesn't have to. We owe Him so much yet He is so loving to us. I told her I feel really sick but that I don't have to find the energy within me to get through the day because my God is faithful to give me strength in my moment of weakness (2 Cor. 12:10; Phil. 2:13).

I am reminded by Colossians 2:5-7 that God is pleased with my dedication to Him and that my job is only to walk in Him. God will give me strength. God will bring me comfort. God will direct my steps. God is faithful. God is the only one who will get me through this. So, while I will take lots medication to help me heal, I will continue to walk in His strength, His love, His hope, and His joy. And if that was not already enough, He already defeated our enemy a long time ago (Col. 2:15). My enemy is not this awful cold, it is the one who wants me to forget about the love and grace of my Heavenly Father. My cold is merely a distraction, and only that if I let it be. But I choose to keep my eyes on Jesus, who began and continues to perfect my faith. For it is in, through, and by Him alone that I will bless those around me and show them the joy of my salvation (Heb .12:1-2; Hab. 3:18). 

Please pray with me that I heal quickly but even more importantly, glorify God no matter my circumstances. Please always pray that the hearts of everyone here (Christians included) are drawn closer to God and grow to a deeper love of God.

Thank you for your support! 

With God All Things

"With God all things are possible." Matthew 19:26

Today was filled with rehearsals. The purpose of this is to make sure all the teachers are on the same page and ready to teach the appropriate music to each student. It was such a fun time practicing with such amazing musicians. Everyone was ready to cover their part and willing to take critiques as they came. That's what we did almost all day: play music. This is any musicians ideal day! It was so refreshing and encouraging to work with these other musicians. 

Later during the day I had a meeting with the other choir directors at this camp to discuss the plan for the songs we are teaching. There is one song that is optional and has an extremely difficult piano part. Both Abigail and myself planned on Shelby to play this one. But during the meeting she remembered that she won't be here. This resulted in them asking me to play. Not gonna lie; my heart plummeted. This is not the type of song that is easy for me to learn.

However, as I waited for access to a piano so I could start figuring it out (by ear, I might add) I noticed the ring I wear. I bought it for this very purpose but I wear it so much that I forget it's there. God graciously directed my eyes to the ring. It has the statement Jesus shares with His disciples about salvation being possible through God and not man (Matt. 19:26). While this verse definitely applies to something far more important than playing a song, God used it to remind me that I will accomplish this task with His strength not mine. It is a great reminder of how I am supposed to take each day, only with God and never on my own. 

Now for training!

“Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭1:28‬

Today we train. Just as bonding is important, so is knowing what our job is at this camp. While we deeply desire every single student to love Jesus and be set free from sin (Gal. 5:1), our job is not to shove the Gospel down their throats. I mean, when is that ever our job? That's just not how Jesus does it. 

We have been challenged to build relationships with the students and support the local church. While our relationships are important, we will leave in a few days. The church, however, will be here for them through everything. These people pray for them through the good and bad and maintain the relationship in a very tangible way. Praise God for them! So we must build relationships and then through those relationships point them to the church. 

This reminds me of a girl I met last time I was here (Warning: I may have told you this story before). She was not a believer and proud of it. Her voice was beautiful and she sang everything with conviction...except the Christian worship songs. During those she stood still and stared blankly ahead of herself or talked with her friends. After the labyrinth (essentially a prayer walk with activities), she told me that she was not happy. She felt like we were forcing her to make a decision. I was able to explain our intention of giving them the opportunity to think about things we'd talked about during the week but had no expectations of how they "should" respond. Through this conversation God used me to reinforce the Gospel. The following spring I saw that this same girl who had so hardened her heart toward God was baptized to proclaim her faith in Christ to her community. 

Her relationship with the church brought her to this faith. My conversation with her was merely a step in the process if anything at all. But as the apostle Paul tells us, we must proclaim Christ to everyone in every way possible so that they can stand before Him holy and mature in Him (Col. 1:28). Thus, all I must do is proclaim Jesus in every aspect of my life. Easy, right? 

As we all know, this is not easy. In fact, this is one of the hardest things to do because I sin...a lot. But thanks be to God that He promises me strength no matter my strength level. He is faithful to proclaim Himself whatever I do. For that I am so deeply grateful!

Please join me in praying that our Lord would be glorified through every aspect of this camp. We want Him to be proclaimed, not our actions. He is the one who deserves all the glory. Also, as the kids will be coming soon, please pray that their hearts are softened to hear the Gospel, to hear of the great live of Jesus Christ (John 15:3). 

Ok, time zones. You win.

Day 1 is done. But it's also kind of the end of day two. Time zones change things. Needless to say, our team is physically exhausted from traveling. We left the church at 12:30pm on Tuesday (Los Angeles time) and finally made it to our lodging for the next week-and-a-half at 9:00pm on Wednesday (Czech time). Sure, that's 12noon L.A. time on Wednesday, but it's still a long trip.

However, despite the exhaustion–or maybe in part due to it–our team has bonded and we have been able to encourage each other throughout the day. Wise people  say that God has a plan and I am 100% certain that this plan includes the unity of this team. After all, this team is a tiny representation of how the church should act. We are representatives of Jesus Christ and our love for each other directly impacts our student's view of Him. How we treat each other matters. Therefore, bonding and encouraging are essential.

On our drive from dinner to the camp (yay for IKEA!) we were able to talk to one of the missionaries here, Bradley, about a new believer named Lucy. This girl is losing many of her friends to college soon and feeling lost. Both myself and Abigail (the other girl on my team) plan to encourage Lucy throughout the camp. We are praying that God will use us to prepare her for the next stage of her.

Thank you for your prayers as I seek to glorify God in this trip! I am so blessed by all of you! May God bless you as you partner with me in this trip.

~ Nicole

I Will Remember Everything I Can

Eleven years ago today my family was reeling from what was the most painful 6 months of our lives to that date.  We had dealt with betrayal like I had never thought possible and almost everyone seemed eager to kick us while we were down.  Instead of bringing my family closer, we all seemed completely numb to the situation and each other.  Emotions were replaced with silence, joy with hollow laughter.

I remember waking up to my dad slamming the front door and joking about a friend's call saying we were under attack.  He flipped on the TV thinking he would have to look for some story related to this "attack" only to find that every channel was showing the same thing: a smoking tower with the tail of a plane sticking out the side.  I got up to ask him to turn down the TV and instead watched the second plane hit the tower.  I was numb to everything, but I knew something was seriously wrong.

The rest of the day my family sat together, our eyes glued to the TV.  I think this might have been the first time we sat so close together in months.  We watched the towers fall, only vaguely processing the words of the reporters and the ramifications of the day.  We remembered that my mom's sister was in D.C. staying not far from the Pentagon when we heard it had been hit.  This was suddenly personal and yet we still acted as we knew we should rather than from our emotions.  My mom made phones calls and found out sometime within the next 24 hours that my aunt was fine and would be staying a few extra days until the airports opened up.  Tragedy finally seemed to give our family a break.

But 9/11 is so much more than the events of that day.  It tore families apart--over and over again.  Every time a survivor dealt (or deals) with their post-traumatic stress disorder they felt (maybe even literally) the plane hit.  Every time a soldier left his or her family to fight the War on Terror, another family felt the affects of those terrorists. Every time a soldier realized they had missed another important moment in a family members life, they felt the attack.  Every time a child realizes his mom or dad won't see them the day they make the football team or when they get married, they feel the attack.  Those planes hit over and over again, just as destructive every time.

Yet the destruction has also brought healing.  No longer invincible, our country realized we needed to band together if we are going to make it through.  We realized that a house divided will not stand (Mark 3:25) and so we united, grew stronger, and became a new nation based on old principles.

A few months later a documentary was shown made by two guys who were following the firemen who first arrived on the scene.  After some editing to make it a little more palatable, they released it for the world to see.  Watching this documentary woke every suppressed emotion in me from the past year.  I wept.  Hard.  The pain of my brothers and sisters pulled me out of myself and made me realize that feeling brings healing.  I don't remember ever crying that much before or after that day.  No citizen of the United States of America could watch that film so soon after the attack without feeling a deep grief for every person who lived or died in that tragic moment.

So, I WILL remember everything I can from that day.  The pain and grief will never leave my heart--I want to remember how it felt to be attacked while separated from my fellow countrymen.  I will treasure the healing that came with a unity so strong no act of violence could tear us apart.  I will remember the flood of emotions I felt when, for the first time in so long, I looked outside of my own pain and allowed myself to empathize with others, cry for others, and grieve because of others--not because their pain was worse than mine, but because of the simple fact that they were in pain.  I will remember that every freedom I have today is because we came together--one nation under God--and took a stand against evil.



Thank you to all the troops who have fought, all the families who have sacrificed for those troops, all the service men and women who were more than heroic on 9/11, and to everyone who allowed us to feel your grief as you lost loved ones because of that day.  Words will never do justice to express our gratitude.  We are in your debt.